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"I'm so close, oh god, oh YES, oh god, oh god - what the fuck?"[6th.Feb.2008|08:37 pm]

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So, delayed gratification as a fanfic trope.

(You know, the thing is, I really just love the word "trope." Trope trope trope. It's fun to say! Trope! It sounds cheery - trope! - and pops right off the tongue! Trope! Trope! ...It's losing all meaning. Okay, wait, it really HAS lost all meaning, because I just looked it up and it doesn't mean what I thought it meant. DAMMIT. FANMETA, YOU HAVE LED ME ASTRAY THROUGH CONTEXT!)

Goddammit. I think I meant as a motif. Okay, I totally did: delayed gratification as a fanfic motif.

(I'm really much more comfortable with musical jargon. I guess those seven years spent getting my music bachelor's weren't totally wasted.)

And by delayed gratification, I mean, specifically, delayed orgasm.

*

I understand why people (me included!) write delayed orgasm. Particularly when it comes to writing sex with two guys! Because, let's face it, even young, horny guys are really pretty much done after one orgasm, ALMOST ALL THE TIME. So, as a slashfic writer, I'm all - let's make the sex last! Let's keep these guys going at it for HOURS, okay? YES, OKAY.

So one guy is tied up, and the other guy keeps him on edge for a long time. Or one guy is tied down. Or maybe one guy is just a tease, and we (the writers) make it last THAT way.

But... I kinda think maybe we overdo it? Maybe?

Not that I don't love it, because let's face facts, girls: I do.

HOWEVER.

I honestly don't know that many guys who would actually... be happy about the whole teasing thing. I mean, sure, the Big O at the end of the ride is supposedly worth it, but damn. I'd be pissed if someone tried to delay MY orgasms, you know what I mean? Like, so pissed I would probably slap the shit out of the person who did it.

Now, this might be because I'm a person of the female persuasion, I admit. Why in the name of god would I try to hold off on orgasms? No, my whole M.O. when it comes to happy fun quality time is, Get To The Good Stuff, RIGHT NOW. WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG, GOD, HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT TO DO. And then let's get there a few more times right away. Then maybe a bathroom break, some food and water, and how about we go for rounds ten through 47?

The thing is, most of the guys I know are the same way, minus the rounds two through 47 parts. Apparently the one O they get is good enough that it makes up for only getting one. (Lord, I hope so. Poor guys, otherwise.)

(And man, I do love being a woman, but I am SO FUCKING CURIOUS as to what a guy!gasm feels like. I mean - aren't you? Seriously, come on. You know you are! I would soooo trade off for a week, just to check it out. Somebody write me some genderfuck starring ME. Because Enquiring Minds Want to Know. And then I'd want to go back to my girlparts, because I love them and we've had some good times together.)

Okay, what the hell was I talking about? Oh yes, delayed orgasms, slashfic trope motif, use of, etc.

So basically, I am going to write a bunch of fics where John and Rodney are just, like, sleeping together, and having sex, and they just do it - they go into somebody's quarters (either John's or Rodney's quarters, though, because Teyla would be PISSED, dude, and Ronon would fiddle with an abandoned headset and make sure to broadcast their sex noises to the whole city) and get naked and get each other off. Maybe they suck each other off and that's it, or handjobs, or a 69 (I always want to spell that out, but spelling out sixty-nine sort of negates the whole perfection of the trope [HA! HA! SEE WHAT I DID THERE?] of the 69), or fucking is good, too - anyway, they get each other off, and then they talk, or go get some lunch, or fall asleep, and that's it. And that's all they ever do!

...I might have already written those fics, in several fandoms, but you get what I mean, right?

Anyway, that's it. I'm all done being meta. (Still not quite sure I used the word trope correctly, but I'm going with it.)
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